The Sound of Silence
My year ending celebrations actually started on the 30th itself with a party held at office. I probably had too many beers and bad food which was the cause of my ruin. I was completely wasted by 11 PM and I definitely remember being picked up by Sudip and dropped on my bed. The next morning, I woke up at 6, nauseated, wasted, upset and with a pounding headache. I barely had the energy left to relieve myself after which I again flopped on the bed and finally woke up at 8:30.
Besides having the usual hangover symptoms, too much alcohol typically leaves me with an intense feeling of remorse and guilt the next day. Anyways, I somehow made my way back to work and thankfully did not have to face any work. After having lunch, my nausea and fatigue subsided a little, but it had drained out all desire to do anything on new year eve. Anyways, since sitting inside the office was making me sick, I decided to take the day off and went to see a movie all alone. While returning from the movie I came to know that whatever plans were being made for the new year celebration have been sloshed down the drain for fairly lame reasons. So here I was stranded in the middle of no where and made to do groceries for an impending picnic the next day. So my last 5 hours of 2004 started with me pushing a cart in a grocery store buying vegetables and weaving my way through other cart carriers who were buying chips, cold drinks and liquour. Thankfully the torture didn't last more than 45 minutes. At 7:45, I was riding an autorickshaw being pushed and pulled in 10 different directions, my innards being shaken with the violent force of Bangalore roads, the traffic jams being the only distraction to my anger which had welled up due to a series of bad events that day. Ironically, this was the day when I had finished reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" and had decided to live my life the Morrie-way but as they to err is human. I reached home at 8:30, decided to put away the bad feelings and come into my Morrie-induced-forgiveness mode to welcome the new year with some pleasant thoughts.
So I descended down the ramp which leads to the parking garage of my apartment complex to find it filled with people, all dressed up for the new year, kids screaming, women sitting in groups and pointing fingers, men trying to be "cool" to each other. Amidst all the commotion I meet Rajeev and Vishal gobbling down a puchka. I unabashedly ask them if it was still possible for me to pay hundered bucks and join. Thankfully I did not have to do a great deal of explaining as to why I didn't pay earlier and why I am paying now. So I paid my dues, went up to my apartment to change and came back down. Within 10 minutes I was gobbling puchkas and like other men trying to be "cool" to others. Dinner was served at 9, was pathetic and beyond redemption. Hungry as I was from last night's excessive drinking and lack of food, I gobbled up the junk as fast as I could. It was then that sleepiness hit me like a tequila shot and after saying my good nights and happy new years to a selected few, I retired to my apartment.
The apartment was cold, lonely and sick. I turned the TV on to get rid of the deadly silence which prevailed - though it was filled with intermittent screams coming from the basement. I changed, brushed my teeth, set the alarm for 5:30 the next morning and laid down on the couch in front of the TV. I don't know when I drifted into the realm of the sleepy world, sailing away blissfully when suddenly there was a pounding somewhere - as if someone was dragging my feet back and yelling in my ears. I opened my eyes and realized there were loud crackers bursting in the distance but amplified by the wind which knocked and crashed against my doors and along with it brought the bangs and booms of crackers. The TV was switched off, the hands of my clock showed 11:30 PM. The last 30 minutes of 2004. I decided to get up, my back pained like somebody was pricking me with the force of a thousand needles. So I held on to the edge of the couch, waited for the pain to sink in, allowed my brain to register the pain and sat up. Suddenly time seemed to have come to a complete standstill. There was no sound - complete silence which unnerved me for a second. I did not know whether it was the pain which had blocked everything else out of my mind or the silence was for real. It was an amazing feeling - light, warm, drifting, spiralling. For an instant I thought I was dead. The silence was beautiful, it was big, engulfing, growing like cancer and there was nothing to disturb the sound of silence. All that was echoing around me was silence. I don't know how I long I was in that state but I came back into this world with echoes coming from the basement of a reverse countdown. Six, five, louder, four, still louder, three, two and bang one....claps, screams and more sounds. I knew I have passed into 2005 and I am thankful to the Sound of Silence.
Besides having the usual hangover symptoms, too much alcohol typically leaves me with an intense feeling of remorse and guilt the next day. Anyways, I somehow made my way back to work and thankfully did not have to face any work. After having lunch, my nausea and fatigue subsided a little, but it had drained out all desire to do anything on new year eve. Anyways, since sitting inside the office was making me sick, I decided to take the day off and went to see a movie all alone. While returning from the movie I came to know that whatever plans were being made for the new year celebration have been sloshed down the drain for fairly lame reasons. So here I was stranded in the middle of no where and made to do groceries for an impending picnic the next day. So my last 5 hours of 2004 started with me pushing a cart in a grocery store buying vegetables and weaving my way through other cart carriers who were buying chips, cold drinks and liquour. Thankfully the torture didn't last more than 45 minutes. At 7:45, I was riding an autorickshaw being pushed and pulled in 10 different directions, my innards being shaken with the violent force of Bangalore roads, the traffic jams being the only distraction to my anger which had welled up due to a series of bad events that day. Ironically, this was the day when I had finished reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" and had decided to live my life the Morrie-way but as they to err is human. I reached home at 8:30, decided to put away the bad feelings and come into my Morrie-induced-forgiveness mode to welcome the new year with some pleasant thoughts.
So I descended down the ramp which leads to the parking garage of my apartment complex to find it filled with people, all dressed up for the new year, kids screaming, women sitting in groups and pointing fingers, men trying to be "cool" to each other. Amidst all the commotion I meet Rajeev and Vishal gobbling down a puchka. I unabashedly ask them if it was still possible for me to pay hundered bucks and join. Thankfully I did not have to do a great deal of explaining as to why I didn't pay earlier and why I am paying now. So I paid my dues, went up to my apartment to change and came back down. Within 10 minutes I was gobbling puchkas and like other men trying to be "cool" to others. Dinner was served at 9, was pathetic and beyond redemption. Hungry as I was from last night's excessive drinking and lack of food, I gobbled up the junk as fast as I could. It was then that sleepiness hit me like a tequila shot and after saying my good nights and happy new years to a selected few, I retired to my apartment.
The apartment was cold, lonely and sick. I turned the TV on to get rid of the deadly silence which prevailed - though it was filled with intermittent screams coming from the basement. I changed, brushed my teeth, set the alarm for 5:30 the next morning and laid down on the couch in front of the TV. I don't know when I drifted into the realm of the sleepy world, sailing away blissfully when suddenly there was a pounding somewhere - as if someone was dragging my feet back and yelling in my ears. I opened my eyes and realized there were loud crackers bursting in the distance but amplified by the wind which knocked and crashed against my doors and along with it brought the bangs and booms of crackers. The TV was switched off, the hands of my clock showed 11:30 PM. The last 30 minutes of 2004. I decided to get up, my back pained like somebody was pricking me with the force of a thousand needles. So I held on to the edge of the couch, waited for the pain to sink in, allowed my brain to register the pain and sat up. Suddenly time seemed to have come to a complete standstill. There was no sound - complete silence which unnerved me for a second. I did not know whether it was the pain which had blocked everything else out of my mind or the silence was for real. It was an amazing feeling - light, warm, drifting, spiralling. For an instant I thought I was dead. The silence was beautiful, it was big, engulfing, growing like cancer and there was nothing to disturb the sound of silence. All that was echoing around me was silence. I don't know how I long I was in that state but I came back into this world with echoes coming from the basement of a reverse countdown. Six, five, louder, four, still louder, three, two and bang one....claps, screams and more sounds. I knew I have passed into 2005 and I am thankful to the Sound of Silence.
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