Is Everything OK?

Thats the question I often get asked by my wife whenever she senses that there is some abberation in my normal behavior ( for an arbitrary self conceived definition of normalcy ). I reflected on this question for a while last evening when it was posed on the drive back home and later a couple times before bedtime. The question is the most powerful expression for diplomacy. By asking this question, the poser can very safely encompass all possible screw-ups. Imagine asking someone "Hey, are you angry with me?" or "Hey, whats wrong?" versus asking "Is everything OK?". Which sounds better - obviously "Is everything OK?". If there is something that the poser screwed up (knowingly or unknowingly), there is a possibility that the victim of the question will say "No, nothing just don't feel like talking - I am tired" rather than following a potentially sad and miserable conversation. Now the poser has an advantage that he cannot be accused of not being caring but at the same time he can get away with crime.
If the victim reverts with a statement about how the poser screwed up and thats why the victim is miserable, the poser gets all the opportunities to clean up or clarify.

One other term that falls in this category is "Thanks for everything".

I wish people were a little more specific about questions that show care or concern.

By the way, I also use the above terms liberally.